Grammar Idea: Pieces

When a person starts talking about a person of whom the talking person does not know the gender, said talking person has a number of options:

  1. Keep repeating daft old nouns, give up on pronouns altogether, and feel like a socially dead butterfly.
  2. Use pronouns for an assumed gender, and be someone who assumes people’s genders
  3. Use the pronoun “it”, and be occasionally isolate the same people over and over again.
  4. Use the pronoun “they” as though it was singular, and feel all dirty inside.

You might have noticed that I made all of these sound bad.

Solution: Whenever you talk about humans with mystery genders, talk about them as pieces, making them plural, that gender might be disregarded.

Example conversation #1:

Ryan: Dale, do you know if the pieces of the mail person delivered the deed yet?

Dale: No, am I their keeper?

Example conversation #2:

Dale: Were the pieces of a child here?

Ryan: No, sorry; I heard  they were going to stop by about 4:37.

Example conversation #3:

Ryan: Do you know the pieces of Pat Simon?

Dale: No, I’ven’t ever met them, Ryan.

Don’t Ryan and Dale sound ever so very much cooler than everyone else you know?

Doing this avoids pretty well most socially poor situations. It makes conversation easier for those around you; which makes them like you; which makes you have friends.

Your new found friends shall most probably speak of pieces of people with you in return; and your conversations shall become far more comfortable for everyone.

I have created a speech room if you would like to like to practice words further.